His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
