I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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