Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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