Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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