i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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