you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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