i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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