I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
