I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
