I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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