She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
