Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
