I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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