Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My life is pants optional.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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