You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
