He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
