Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
