Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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