I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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