your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
