The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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