Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
