I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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