Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if only i could text you this smell
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
