Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Boobs speak an international language.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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