i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
