just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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