yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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