Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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