I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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