so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
