ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
