i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he told me I talked like a deaf person
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
