My hand turned me down
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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