Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
