Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
