when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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