Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
