So drunk its hurt
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
