Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
