This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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