Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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