To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
