And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
