Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
