is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
