you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
