I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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