she woke up with a sticky ear
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
