she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
